Have you ever had a high hope, an expectation? You feel the excitement of anticipation of the possibility of something good, something joyful. When I reflect on the word disappointment, “APPOINTMENT”, stands out. It references a specific time and event. The “dis” means the time is negative. The gap between the expectation and reality is not met; the wider the gap the deeper the negative feeling.
I dealt with a major disappointment recently. This time last year, I was eligible for promotion to Colonel at the federal level. In March, I received good news that I was selected for promotion. The phrase is called Department of the Army (DA) select. This means I would be recognized as “promotable” at the federal level. In the National Guard, promotions in the state are based upon availability of slots at that rank. This means I had to submit a promotion packet to the state to receive the full promotion this year. I submitted that packet in July.
My expectations were high and I was excited about this next venture and potential achievement. A few weeks ago, I learned the announcement schedule and that congratulation calls would be made on Friday September 28th. I kept my phone by my side, checked emails occasionally waiting and waiting. Three o’clock came, then 4 pm, and then the close of business of the day. I spent the weekend wondering and checking Facebook for clues from other colleagues if they had heard anything. I wondered if the list had been delayed which would not have been out of the realm of possibility. Yet, I knew in my heart I had not been promoted this time and prepared myself for that news. I remember telling a friend early in the process that I was keeping my expectations low; there was an incredible pool of candidates.
Finally, I saw the official list early this week and I was not on it. The flood of disappointment washed over me and the feeling of let- down hung in my stomach. Yes, it was hard. I recalled praying when I first submitted my promotion packet and asked God to put me where He wanted me. If I was not meant to be promoted, He would work it out. And if not, it was not the right time. With that in mind, despite the feeling of disappointment, I must sense God’s providence and His timing.
Sometimes our answer is “not yet”. We shall see. I was excited to see some of my colleagues move forward and it was well deserved.
I close with a few thoughts in case you find yourself disappointed:
1) When we get a negative answer, we do not get the promotion, or the desired achievement, it does not necessarily mean not ever but could mean not yet. Stay hopeful and keep working.
2) We can be faithful where God plants us. He may need us to grow more before the next step.
3) If able, we can try again. Perseverance builds character.
4) Allow disappointment to give us strength. Experiencing a low causes me us to look back and count blessings and see where God has worked. We recall that we cannot see everything but He does.
We will see what happens with the next promotion board next year. For now, I’ll serve hard and faithfully as a Lieutenant Colonel and see where God leads. I’ll live in an attitude of gratefulness for all He has already done for me.
Have a great rest of your week,
Lisa